Is life all about RELATIONS??

As this is my very first blog, I thought of writing it preferably in a word document first so that it gets self corrected and then blog. So the file says Date Modified: 27-10-2008. Believe me, the document remained empty since then. I haven’t modified it but I just named the document and left it aside to “search” (I wonder if this is a word to be used) for a nice start. But I couldn’t find a better start than this. Anyways, what would anyone answer if asked “is life all about relations?” Well, in the quest of finding answer to it, I ended up having many questions put to me of which one is “What do you think?”...Kind of obvious....and then someone answered a direct “NO”. This very NO was what led into a very precise and brief discussion ending up in the question “How did we start discussing about love?” The discussion mostly centred on the premise that “love can be an obligation.” The argument was like when there is an arranged marriage, you actually don’t love that person you get married to but eventually you do because you have to live with him/her the rest of your life. But at the back of mind, you probably will have the feeling that it all started as an obligation. So my question is “should you be happy about the present or worry about the past?” Dead end!! Do all the relations that we formed have love as the foundation? Some are for namesake; some are because we already have them, some are destined, some are chosen, some are in the hands of people who script their own fate...blah blah blah.

Does the above discussion mean anything? Does it by chance explain the question of the topic? Well, you will have to find out that. I just gave opinions of few people around me. Though I myself believed that it was all about relations even before starting my life at BITS, I now say it isn’t all about relations. As Nokia connecting people, I was all along trying to connect myself with people. It being the first time that I was away from home, I probably was in search of an emotional support. I was unconsciously emotional, at the same time moved by the freedom I had to reach people and was probably blinded by it and quite well enough, it reflected in my percentage at the end of semester. I loved my life, I enjoyed it to the fullest and never ever I felt I had to complain about my life here. Not until one of my so called friend actually stood against me to let me know what I exactly was doing and which direction I was headed to...which was nowhere. If I ever had a reason to change and if I changed, it is because of this person. But yes, I was rendered unemotional (big word) because of the circumstances but I didn’t want to give up. My percentages increased and yes I was happy. So here I wondered how people manage to fare well at the exams and maintain high percentages as well as get involved with people without actually getting emotional. Hope you understand this a bit..!! And yes, because of this unemotional scene of mine, I lost few friends, few of them turning very cold towards me because I never gave them a chance to sit and ask me what went wrong. WE NEVER SAT AND SPOKE which otherwise would have solved half of the problems. Few of my semesters passed out like that without me actually getting emotional or not able to find someone to share them. Though I had friends, they had been limited to the curriculum. I never knew that people could fight with me for my affection or just for concern but they did. I felt weird when all of a sudden I was important to someone though I really didn’t intend to be so. It happened!! All along the relation, I was trying to be a friend, help him out but yet there were fights for that extra importance over the other persons around me. And yes, I even had the pleasure of being talked behind me which I badly hated. But I had to accept. Not until one day, I dared to ask my friends what their problem was or rather explained the circumstances around me. Misunderstandings, misinterpretations, mistakes, misgivings led to some serious mishaps. But then I really don’t know where I am headed to or what I am up to. Because, I now feel I am the same old person, who was taught to make assumptions yet remain practical, to control emotions and yet show love and affection, not to be possessive and yet remain for friends when needed, not to get angry and yet make your point, to tell a sorry without hurting my own pride, to cry when needed and yet spread smiles around, to understand people, to fly high yet with feet on the ground, to love oneself yet not be conceited, to lead and yet accept another leader and the VALUE OF LIFE AND IMPORTANCE OF GOALS without losing the essence of LIFE and LOVE!!