Well - it has been a while since I have actually written anything - ANYTHING at all - except emails at work - if that counts as writing. And so much has happened. I graduated with a Master's, found a job, resigned the job after 2.5 years, got married, moved to AZ and also had a baby (big thing!). My life has definitely been a roller coaster ride. Looks like the ride only took me up - guess it depends on how you look at it.
I should warn you that this blog might sound like a lot of complaining that might also sound like bragging - sorry, I am prone to be misunderstood - just making sure I confirm that before you proceed to read - but bear with me - I hope to end it on a good note.
Everything happened so quickly - even before I could absorb the changes that happened. Well - everybody says it is for the good. Anyway - the most important point of this blog is about my feelings about being a MOM.
I'll be honest - I wasn't as ready (mentally and emotionally) as I thought I would be to be a Mom. I always dreamed of holding this little one in my arms and just go "Awwww.." like they show in the videos - which I did - but soon all these thoughts about - taking care of the little one, entertaining her, feeding her, cleaning her, teaching her etc. (did I say it was a GIRL?) - all these things seemed to bite into My time. I was missing Me and the Wife. Soon I started thinking about the things I cannot do - pursue MBA or learn something new, buy new clothes without thinking about her first, go on a date with my husband, not being able to go on an office trip - essentially making any plans that did not include her. It did seem like a burden. Well - my parents offered to take her to India with them - but no, I could not part with her.
Don't you think that the baby needs too much attention! She is adorable sweet little one - with lots of hair - I plait two pig tails for her already - very active - very smart - always smiling happy little one - goes to day care - feeds well - loves cottage cheese. She always let me go to work. When I go to pick her up at the day care -
But one day - she fell sick. It is regular cold - not too scary - but I was scared enough to want my mother and father here. She developed a fever this time - in the place of those little smiles that used to welcome me at the day care, there was a miserable look on her face that said a lot without saying anything. She did not leave my side from that day on for the next 4 days or so. Being her (and a baby), even if she was feeling a little better - she would go on and spend that energy. I didn't see a single smile all those days - she didn't even bother to stand up - play with anything that was given to her - all she wanted was to be held by Dad or Mum - and sleep. I was scared of a common cold and what it would do to the baby. I was hoping and praying that she become better.
Now she is all cured and all the smiles have returned and so did the little devil in her. She is all active and herself - well she is yet to feed properly. But I guess this little incident made me realize how much I want to be there for her and with her. No matter what I think about not being able to achieve anything - that inherent parent in me comes alive when the little one is not herself. And to nurture that little angel back to being herself in itself is an achievement.
I bow to all those mothers that take care of their babies that fight something worse than common cold.
This is from Me, the Wife and the Mother.
I should warn you that this blog might sound like a lot of complaining that might also sound like bragging - sorry, I am prone to be misunderstood - just making sure I confirm that before you proceed to read - but bear with me - I hope to end it on a good note.
Everything happened so quickly - even before I could absorb the changes that happened. Well - everybody says it is for the good. Anyway - the most important point of this blog is about my feelings about being a MOM.
I'll be honest - I wasn't as ready (mentally and emotionally) as I thought I would be to be a Mom. I always dreamed of holding this little one in my arms and just go "Awwww.." like they show in the videos - which I did - but soon all these thoughts about - taking care of the little one, entertaining her, feeding her, cleaning her, teaching her etc. (did I say it was a GIRL?) - all these things seemed to bite into My time. I was missing Me and the Wife. Soon I started thinking about the things I cannot do - pursue MBA or learn something new, buy new clothes without thinking about her first, go on a date with my husband, not being able to go on an office trip - essentially making any plans that did not include her. It did seem like a burden. Well - my parents offered to take her to India with them - but no, I could not part with her.
Don't you think that the baby needs too much attention! She is adorable sweet little one - with lots of hair - I plait two pig tails for her already - very active - very smart - always smiling happy little one - goes to day care - feeds well - loves cottage cheese. She always let me go to work. When I go to pick her up at the day care -
But one day - she fell sick. It is regular cold - not too scary - but I was scared enough to want my mother and father here. She developed a fever this time - in the place of those little smiles that used to welcome me at the day care, there was a miserable look on her face that said a lot without saying anything. She did not leave my side from that day on for the next 4 days or so. Being her (and a baby), even if she was feeling a little better - she would go on and spend that energy. I didn't see a single smile all those days - she didn't even bother to stand up - play with anything that was given to her - all she wanted was to be held by Dad or Mum - and sleep. I was scared of a common cold and what it would do to the baby. I was hoping and praying that she become better.
Now she is all cured and all the smiles have returned and so did the little devil in her. She is all active and herself - well she is yet to feed properly. But I guess this little incident made me realize how much I want to be there for her and with her. No matter what I think about not being able to achieve anything - that inherent parent in me comes alive when the little one is not herself. And to nurture that little angel back to being herself in itself is an achievement.
I bow to all those mothers that take care of their babies that fight something worse than common cold.
This is from Me, the Wife and the Mother.
